Love sucks, yo
by Descendent
Summary: Lance and kitty try to have a normal date. Finnaly and ending to the insanity
1. In the Beggining...

First of all a big thanx to all who reviewed my last story. The comments helped out a bunch. THANX YOU  
  
Disclaimer: Sorry I burned it trying to light my fireplace. It said I own nothing but my pride though. Ah, hell I don't even own that.   
  
Summary: Lance and Kitty try to have an ordinary date just like everyone else. To bad they're being stalked by a shadowy figure. Takes place before HeX Factor  
  
  
  
Bayville High School: 12:45 in the A.M. The freshman lockers.  
  
"Like a virgin, hey! Touched for the very fist time…" Kitty Pride sung to herself as she began to unload her books before lunch. She was looking forward to tonight's date with Lance, on the mere premise that everyone else was going out. Thus their idiot friends wouldn't bother them like they did on all their other dates.  
  
Suddenly a pair of hands covered her eyes as she heard an all too familiar voice came too her ears. "Guess who?"  
"Let me see… If it's not my Boyfriend then I'll be very pissed off." She replied as she turned around. "Oh, its just you Lance…like, what are you doing here?" she replied in a mock surprised tone.  
  
"Ha, Ha. Very funny. So are you ready for tonight?" He asked as he leaned against the lockers.  
"Like totally. Scott's taking Evan and Kurt to go see attack of the Mutant Frogs 4, Rouges doing something with Risty, and Jeans going out with Duncan. S there should be no problem."  
"Well there might be one." Lance replied. "Pietro's taking Tabby and the others to see that exact same movie." Lance replied smiling.  
"Heh, That's their problem. Shall we?" She answered as she extended her arm.  
"Soitently." He replied as he hooked his arm with hers and walked her to the lunchroom. They didn't notice the shadowy figure that loomed on the top of the lockers.   
"So those two love birds want to try and have a normal evening without any disturbances. Well then, we shall see about that. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…cough…cough…cough… Oh God, I need a drink." He said as he leapt down and walked away.  
  
Bayville, Xaiver's Institute for the Gifted, 6:57:43 P.M. (Pay attention to this Kids)  
  
Bobby Drake is pushing on the front door trying to get in, even though there is a sign right next to him that says: "pull".  
"Damn it… Why won't you open?" He screamed as Kitty phased herself through the other door. She looked at him for a minute and then shook her head as she walked toward the front gate. She waited for a few minutes and then heard the sounds of Metallica, as Lance's jeep pulled up. He turned the radio off as she hopped into the passenger's side.  
"So Lance, like, what do you have planned for us tonight." She asked as she pulled on her seat belt. "Lance…Lance? She replied when she didn't get a response.  
"What? Oh, Sorry Kitty. I was just starring at that window." He said as he pointed to one of the Mansion's many windows. Kitty looked at it to see Logan staring at them with a crazed look in his eyes. He popped one of his claws out and proceeded to draw it across his neck as he pointed to Lance. The jeep pulled 0-60 in exactly 2.3 seconds.   
"Oh my God… Oh my God… Oh my God…" Lance said under his breath as he kept his eyes on the road.  
"Calm down and slow down Lance." Kitty said as Lance stopped. "I believe we put a safe distance between Mr. Logan and us."  
"Kitty, This is Wolverine were talking about." Lance stated as he turned to her. She stared at him for a second before she slammed her foot on the gas and yelled, "Drive!"  
  
Too be continued…  
  
Well you know the drill R& R please. Remember your comments do make a difference.  
  
Shadowy figure: Wasted away again in margaritaville…  
  
Me: Ah crap, he got into my stash again. (Pull's out a broom) Go on! Get out of here.  
  
P.S. Review Please 


	2. What the others are up too

Chapter two: What the others are up too  
  
Once again I thanx all of you who have reviewed. Especially you Red Witch. I'm a huge fan of your work and am extremely honored to have you be the first to review this fic. Thanx you! Keep the review's coming. They keep me alive. Those and the booze, gotta love the booze. But I digress. On with the summary & disclaimer.  
  
Disclaimer: I actually have one this time! I own nothing! The good people at the WB own everything except Mutant Frogs 4. I don't know where I pulled that from but it sure as hell isn't mine. Now one with the show and my medication. (Pulls out a bottle and downs the entire contents.)  
  
Summary: See chapter one nimrod.  
  
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"Alright, yo! Mutant Frog 4: Return of the Frog Legs." Todd Crowed as he hopped up and down the corridor that led to the theater.  
  
"Calm down Toddy." Tabby said as she tried to locate the theater that their movie was being shown in.  
  
"I'm surprised they let us back in after the last 'incident,'" Pietro said as he tried to calm Toad down.  
  
"Ya, well Blob had a little 'Conversation' with the security guard, yo." Todd said as he dodged Pietro.  
  
"So what did you do with this one, Freddy?" Tabby asked.  
  
"I set him up." The Blob said simply from behind the mountain of food that several concession workers had fainted to prepare.  
  
"HUH?" Pietro asked confused.  
  
"Ya, I introduced my fist to his face. Last I heard they were quite happy." Fred said laughing  
  
"Heh. That's my Freddy" Tabitha said as she finally found the right theater. " Alright hunky shirtless guys here I come."  
  
"Giant mutant toad's here I come!" Todd crowed.  
  
"Half naked women running around here we come!" Fred and Pietro both spat as the all entered the theater.  
  
  
Bayville, Xaiver's Institute for the Gifted, 8:45:23 P.M.  
  
Bobby Drake began running at the doors from the gate screaming, "AAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" (Thump)He went flying off of the steel reinforced doors. "DAMN IT!" he shouted as he landed a good twenty feet away. He got up to try it again.  
  
  
Bayville Multiplex, 8:46:58:23:34:54 (Ahh, who gives a rats ass what time it is.)  
  
"Vas! Half naked women running around being chased by large mutant toads. God I love America!" Kurt shouted as the pulled into the movie parking lot.  
  
"Move it people the movie starts in 3 minutes." Scott shouted as he ran toward the multiplex. He passed a very large bulge sticking out of a trashcan. He could have sworn he heard whimpering coming from it.  
  
"Calm down Scott. Remember you were the one who wanted to see how long it would take Drake to get into the mansion."  
  
"I still can't believe he was still trying to get in after we left." Kurt said as he caught up with his two comrades. They bought their tickets and found their theater just in the nick of time.   
  
  
Inside one of Bayville's many Bars, 9:01:34:45  
  
  
"Let me tell you what it's like living with perfect little Miss Priss..." Rouge said sloppily, obviously drunk.   
  
"Say it out loud, Girlfriend!" Risty shouted, equally drunk.  
  
"It's hell I tell you. What about you buddy, what are you up to?" Rouge asked the Shadowy Figure.  
  
"Well...hic... I'm trying to break up these two pathetic little love bird that insist on living the Romeo and Juliet love life...hic..."  
  
"Good for you buddy..." Risty said before she passed out.  
  
"Whoa, looky the time. I gotta go ruin peoples lives." The figure mumbled before he stumbled out of the Bar.  
  
  
The end FOR NOW MWAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
  
ME: damn it SF! How many times have I told you no drinking before or during chapters?  
  
Shadowy Figure: ...hic... More coffee...  
  
ME: I'll give you coffee all right.... Oh hi folks. You all know the drill, review please. And I'll try to get this bum ready for the next chapter. (Hands SF a large mug of coffee.) 


	3. Fast Food and Slow Bad guys

Fast food and slow Bad guys  
  
A great Big Thanx to all those who reviewed, Ryoken and Red Witch especially. I'm a big fan of your works and glad to see you like my stuff. To all who have yet to review, I say this: A hex on your first born child has been cast by my girlfriend. The only way to remove it is to review, so HA.   
  
Disclaimer: Sorry I used the money for the disclaimer on cheap booze. It said I own nothing except the cloths on my back. Well technically I don't even own those, but screw semantics.  
  
Summary: See chapter one foo.  
  
  
  
Bayville, Outside a McDonald's Restaurant: 8:23 P.M  
  
  
"You mean to tell me that Pietro went nuts trying to figure out how to solve a rubic cube?" Kitty asked in surprise.  
  
"Yep. We had to duct tape him down to keep him from hurting himself." Lance stated as he continued to put a safe distance between them and The Wolverine. "I always knew that those thing were evil. We finally calmed him down after Toad found a bunch of really powerful tranquilizers."  
  
"Where did he find those?" Kitty asked in amazement.  
  
"Mystique's old room. I 'm still wondering what she used them for?"  
  
"Huh. Who knows? Oh, Let's grab a bit to eat." Kitty said as she pointed to the McDonalds.  
  
"Sure thing Pretty Kitty."  
  
"Lance!!" Kitty said slightly annoyed. "You know I hate that name."  
  
"Oops. I've been naughty. I may need to be disciplined." He leaned in closer and whispered seductively into her ear "We'll talk later." Kitty blushed furiously as she caught his meaning and the images ran through her innocent little head. "Hmmm." She said as she seriously thought about it. But those thoughts were cut short as they pulled into the McDonalds and Lance parked the Jeep.  
  
They walked into the crowded Lair of fried food and found a table to sit at. Little did they notice the now-sober Shadowy Figure had crept into the back.  
  
"What do you want Kitty?" Lance asked her as she thought for a moment.  
  
"I'll just have a salad and a large diet coke, please." She responded as she tried to get the naughty images out of her head.  
  
"No prob, Pretty Kitty. Oops, I did it again, didn't I? Now I'll need twice the punishment." He said seductively.   
  
"La-ance!" She cried. "Quit it." She said as she playfully slapped his arm.  
  
"Just kidding Kitty." He replied as he left to go grab the food. "Lets see I'll have a number 3 Super sized with coke and a salad with a large diet coke." Lance told the very pizza-faced teenager who worked behind the counter.  
  
"A-HA!" Now I will put my plan into effect." The Shadowy Figure said to himself. He then spat on Lance's food without being seen. "Let's see how Mister Alvers likes his food. Mwahahaha!!"  
  
"Hey you there! You can't be back here!" Came a gruff voice from behind the Figure. He turned slowly to see a very tall, very muscular, very bald, and probably very angry man dressed in a McDonalds uniform behind him pointing at him.   
  
"Uh-oh. Crap" The shadowy Figure thought as the very angry man approached him. He tried to run but the man grabbed him and dragged him outside. Various sounds of a human being beaten savagely and bent into forms a man should not be place in were heard through out the restaurant as Lance grabbed the food and walked to the table were Kitty was humming to herself. The Big guy walked back into the store and handed a twenty-dollar bill to his colleague. "You were right Dave, a human can't be bent into a pretzel shape.  
  
"Here you go Kitty." Lance said as he handed her, her food.  
  
"Thanks Lance!" She said as she began to munch away. Lance just looked at her and then turned to his own order. He pulled the bun off to lay down some Ketchup, only to see a wad of spit sitting on the burger.   
  
"That Pizza faced Basterd." Lance said as he showed Kitty the burger.  
  
"Like, eww!" Kitty exclaimed as she pushed her own food away from her. "Like, let's leave."  
  
"Good idea. Why don't you go wait in the jeep, Kitty. I need to take care of something." Lance said as he walked up to where the pizza faced kid was taking his break. Lance grabbed the kid and dragged him into the bathroom. Right after Kitty walked out of the Restaurant the people inside heard screams coming from the boy's bathroom, yet none dared to investigate. A few moments later Lance walked out wiping his hand while humming System of a Down's 'Toxicity.' He walked to the jeep were Kitty was waiting and smiled at her while he got in and drove off. Neither of them noticed the mangled body of the Shadowy Figure stuck inside a garbage can.  
  
"Why... Me..." He said slowly before he passed out.  
  
  
Bayville, Xaiver's Institute for the Gifted 8:34 P.M.  
  
Bobby Drake smiled to himself as he looked at the Acme Jet Rocket Shuttle set he had ordered and built. The tracks led to the front doors of the mansion. He got in and strapped himself down and put on his helmet. He pushed the ignite button as he yelled, "YEE-HAA!" He sped toward the mansion only to have the car bounce of the tracks. "AHHHHHHHH!" he screamed as he went fling into the solid brick wall. He stumbled out of the large crater he had created, his cloths a mess. "Why??" He said weakly before he passed out.  
  
  
To be continued... yet again  
  
ME: Spiting on his food? That's the best you could come up with?  
  
Shadowy Figure (In a body cast): Hey it's the best I could come up with on the spur of the moment.  
  
ME: And you wonder why you never get a date. Oh, hi-ya folks. I'll do my part and get this dumb-ass ready for the next chapter and you can do your part by reviewing and sending in suggestions. Remember every little one counts and helps. Now for you (turn to the Figure and pulls out a very large saw) Let's get you up and running.  
  
Shadowy Figure: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! 


	4. Mutants and movies collide

When Mutants and movies collide…  
  
  
Welcome back true believers to another installment of zaniness and all around romantic mush. This chapter will finish the story about what the others are up to and leave some clues too who the shadowy figure is. Once again I'm forced to ask for more reviews. Just the fact that I know people like/hate the story is enough to get me through the day. That and my girlfriend, and the booze. God I love the Booze…  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. With the exception of the idea. I own that and will die for it.  
  
Summary: Summary!? We don't need no stinking summary!  
  
  
  
Bayville Multiplex 9:00 P.M  
  
The movie was going well. Well actually the credits went by without a hitch. But the moment Tabitha thought to blow up Fred's popcorn in retaliation for him getting revenge on her for shaving his head, which was a good faith act in which she thought he would look better bald, only to realize that she was wrong and refused to apologized, so he was forced to take all her hair products, which then lead her to go into the boys bathroom and continually bother Toad while he was in the shower. (Confused yet?) Anyhow after she blew up his popcorn, the X-Gee… I mean Men, decide to launch an all out assault on the Brotherhood. Too bad they were out numbers 3 to 5. The theater was now cleared. (Kurt turned off his image inducer and all the non-mutant patrons ran faster then A.J from the Backstreet Boys runs toward a Bar.) (A/N: BURN!!) We now join the fight already in progress.  
  
"Oh my God! You couldn't figure out a Rubic Cube?!?" Scott said trying not to crack up, but failing miserably. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…" He laughed, falling onto his ass in the process.  
  
"I'm never going to live this down, am I?" Pietro said pouting. Scott, Evan and Kurt were all laughing and rolling around on the floor. "Damn it Toad! Why did you have to yell it out loud?"  
  
"Sorry Pietro, but Daniel's was about to run me through… I needed something to help save my ass, so I thought about you." Toad said through a weak smile.  
  
"Cheer up Speedy!" Tabitha said as she playfully hung on his arm, "How about we go out and get some ice cream? My treat!"   
  
"Fine. But I want chocolate!" Pietro said stubbornly. As they left through a huge hole in the wall, Tabitha threw a very large Time Bomb behind her. It landed right where the X-men were still laughing their asses off.  
  
"HAHAHAHAHAHA…oh crap" Kurt was laughing before the Bomb rolled right next to him. "Help?" He said in a weak voice before the bomb went off, destroying the entire multiplex. The Brotherhood walked away with the flaming theater in the back ground, emergency vehicles scrambling all about. On the other side of the chaos, the X-Men emerged, very shaken, with their faces covers in soot and their cloths a mess.  
  
"From now on we order Direct TV" Evan said in a weak voice.  
  
"Agreed." Kurt and Scott said before Kurt telported them back to the mansion, where they promptly collapsed.  
  
  
Bayville, Make-Out Point, 9:20 P.M  
  
Duncan Matthew's car was parked at the very edge of the lane. With loud moans coming from it. They sound extremely similar to the ones of Miss Perfect Princess of the X. Our Shadowy Figure is crouched in the shadows waiting for his prey.  
  
"That's it, Oh Yea! You're a naughty girl aren't you? Yes you are." He said to himself as he looked through the binoculars that were pointed at Duncan's rocking car. Suddenly a jeep pulled in extremely fast, slamming into him and sending him over the edge. "AHHHHHHHHH..." (Thump)   
  
"Did you, like, here something, Lance." Kitty asked as Lance pulled out a very large Map and began to read it.   
  
"No. Not really Kitty." Lance answered as he looked at the map. "Ahh. Here it is. We should have taken a left on Mabury Street in order to get to the club." He announced as he pulled the jeep out of the place of high teen pregnancy and left.   
  
From down the gully a slight voice was heard. "Why...God? Why..."  
  
  
Bayville, Xaiver's Institute for the Gifted 9: 34 P.M  
  
Bobby Drake pulled down his facemask as he light his acetylene torch. He evened out the flame and then applied it to the front doors, still not noticing the sign that said, "pull." Before the flame was able to connect to the door, a small spark hit the tank of gas. "Oh Shi..." Bobby began before he was blown thirty feet backwards.  
  
"Did you hear something professor?" Hank asked right after the explosion took place.  
  
"No. Your move." Xaiver said blatantly  
  
"Uh, E-4."  
  
"Damn it you sunk my battleship!" Xaiver cried as he downed another scotch on the rocks.  
  
  
To be continued...  
  
  
  
Well that's all for this chapter, I need to go fish SF out of the gully for his next chapter so please review. Remember that every one helps me out and gets me through. Sorry if its a little weird i'm on high doses of cold medication  
Peace out my people  
  
P.S. The hex is still there so review damn it. Thank you! 


	5. Finally, an Ending

Chapter five: Finally, an ending  
  
  
  
Well I'm back and with the final chapter too Lance and Kitty's date, as well as the Shadowy Figure reveled. Who is it? Who knows? Well I do… but that's beside the point. This chapter will be a little on the short side; I got school to worry about, (Finals) so sorry. A big thanks to all those who reviewed and gave me the support to continue…(sniff)… I promised I wouldn't cry… but… Ah, on with the show.  
  
Disclaimer: I shall now enter a lie: I own everything.  
  
Summary: If you've gotten this far then I hope you know what the story's about. If not then I know several good doctors that can help.  
  
  
Bayville, The Hellhole Club: 9:56:45 P.M.  
  
Dope was blasting through the speakers as Lance and Kitty took center stage on the dance floor. Kitty grinded into an all to happy Lance as he moved up and down to the music. The song ended and the DJ came over the speakers.  
  
"That was Dope with "Now or Never". Y'all having fun tonight?" He was met with loud cheers. He continued pumping up the crowd as Lance and Kitty sat at a table. "Yea-aa! Next up is Linkin Park with… Hey you can't be back here… let go… get the hell…" He said as he was suddenly thrown through the window.   
  
"Sorry about that folks." Came the voice of the Shadowy Figure. "I'll only be a minute as execute my master plan for world domination… Oh, wait; wrong day… sorry about that. Let's see here…" The sounds of someone looking through papers were heard on the loud speakers. "O.K. here we go, let's see… As I execute my master plan to ruin Lance Alvers' and Katherine Pryde's date."  
  
"Why me…" Lance moaned. "Why can't we have a regular date just like everyone else."  
  
"I have no clue." Kitty answered as she hung her head. Suddenly the Shadowy Figure leapt through the broken window and fell two feet short of their table, landing on his head.  
  
"Ow." He stated as he got up and pulled his cape out of the way. "Now to exact my Master plan to…" He started to say before Lance punched him in the face. He fell to the ground with a thud.  
  
"They caught the Ghoul of Gargadon!" Came a voice from behind them. Lance and Kitty turned to see a group of kids behind them. One of the guys was dressed like a sailor reject; the other looked like a stoner. One of the girls looked like a nerd in a poodle skirt, with the other girl was wearing purple and pink dress that ran a little to high. The strange thing was they had a Great Dane with them.  
"Jinkies! I think we stumbled into the wrong cartoon." Velma said, as the rest of the teens looked around. They all shrugged and left in a green van decked out with flower details.  
  
"What the hell was that?!" Lance said as he stared at Kitty.  
  
"I'll forget it if you do. Let's see who this guy is." Kitty said turning their attention back to the now trussed up Shadowy Figure. She reached over and pulled off the dark mask he was wearing. "OH, My GOD!" She shouted," It's the guy from 'Scream!'" She exclaimed as she saw the Scream Ghost Mask under the black hood. Lance gave her a dumb look before he turn's to face the audience, (You all) and shakes his head.   
  
"Kitty, He's wearing another mask." Lance said.  
  
"Oh, like, my bad." Kitty stammered. She then pulled off his other mask. "Principle Kelly!!!" They both shouted.  
  
"Oh, crap." He said as he woke up and saw the very pissed off students.  
  
"Why'd you do it, Mister Kelly?" Kitty asked in her innocent voice.  
  
"I'll tell you why." Kelly said angrily. "Those damn battles that the brotherhood and the Institute kids have in the hallways. It finally got to me."   
  
"Kelly, we go through the same crap as you do. But it's worse for us. We LIVE with those kids, and yet we still love each other no matter what. Love is a beautiful thing Kelly, and I hope you can see that we're happy together." Lance said in a soap opera style voice.  
  
"That's a load of shit, Alvers." Kelly snapped. "I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you damn kids and that friggin dog."  
  
"What dog?" Kitty asked as Kelly pointed to an empty space. Lance and Kitty shared a look.  
  
"That dog right there. Ah, ah, ah Spiders…SPIDERS!!" Kelly shouted as he began to swat at himself.  
  
"L-Lets leave." Lance said as he put an arm around kitty protectively. They left their Principle on the floor of the empty club, swatting at himself.  
  
  
Bayville Xaiver's Institute for the Gifted: 10:45 P.M  
  
The jeep pulled in and Kitty kissed Lance good bye. As she walked across the lawn she noticed the place looked like a battlefield. She then saw Bobby running around on fire screaming. She shrugged her shoulders as she phased through the door and went to bed happy. She didn't notice Rouge, Scott, Evan, and Kurt all passed out across the floor.   
  
Bayville, The Brotherhood Home  
  
Lance walked in whistling. Toad and the others were watching the tube were principle Kelly was being carted off. Lance ignored them as he walked up the stairs. Todd turned to the others who just shrugged their shoulders. "Love suck, yo." He replied turning his short attention span back to the TV.  
  
  
Well that's that. Sorry if it wasn't what you expected but I have school to worry about. But in the words of Arnold: I'll be back. Until then Review are expected. Remember the Hex is still on you all.  
  
Lots of love to all,   
Descendent 


End file.
